How to Have an Unhappy Wife
This blog post is mainly written for men, but I’m sure you ladies will get a kick out of it
too. Please don’t let the kiddos read it as it has a few statements that are a little risqué.
Hopefully it will help make your marriage stronger and you ladies a little happier.
Mrs. B's Advice on How to Have an Unhappy Wife
- When your wife asks you if you still love her reply with, “Yeah, sure”.
- Compare your wife’s cooking to your mother’s.
- Blow your nose in the shower so there will be buggers on the tile. That will give your wife something to do and she won’t be bored.
- Leave the commode seat up after you pee so she’ll get a little surprise when she sits on it. Never put the seat back down. (Click on the blue letters to watch a video about this.)
- Criticize your wife for the way she keeps the house. By the way, never help her with vacuuming or dishes.
- Blame her for everything that goes wrong. Like the sink stopping up or the toilet running over.
- Tell her how droopy her boobs are getting.
- Kick off your shoes and socks as soon as you enter the room. Let them land wherever. You know your wife loves cleaning up after you and also smelling your stinky feet.
- Rush, rush, rush her in bed if you know what I mean.
- Flirt with the young waitress in the short skirt.
- Tell your wife how that outfit makes her butt look bigger.
- Shake IT at her.
- Fart as soon as you get in the bed.
- When watching TV always watch westerns, old reruns, and the history channel. Never watch romantic movies with her.
- Never remember birthdays or anniversaries. Those things don’t matter to her anyway.
- Spend at least 2 nights a week out with your drinking buddies. After all, your wife loves spending lonely nights at home.
- Buy all the boy toys you want and don’t expect her to spend money on nails, clothes, or hair products.
- Curse like a sailor and talk dirty to her.
- Call her names like bitch, tramp, or old lady.
- Wake her up in the middle of the night for sex.
- Don’t discuss your job, family, or your feelings with your spouse. She wouldn’t understand anyway.
- Absolutely never compliment her on her new hairdo or outfit.
Did you enjoy my suggestions on how to have an unhappy wife? Just to let you know I am a happy wife. My husband doesn’t do any of these things to make me unhappy.
Until next time……